Claudius1964's Science Fiction Essays

The latest Science Fiction reviews of the books I have read, and various miscellaneous topics.

Religious Bullshit.

As naive as I was when I grew-up, the early days of my religious experience were somewhat mortifying. My devout christian family went to a reformed church in Michigan until I was the age of 12. What happened when I was 12-years-old that made me abandon my naive faith in christianity? After my parents divorce the church treated them as outcasts of the community.  I couldn't tell you the details, but I felt like I was the cause of my parents divorce, which in case my parents merely grew apart and decided to go their own ways. As I grew older I enjoyed my experience with a presbyterian church, mostly playing basketball and going on ski-retreats, the were much more realistic as far as being a community service, and much more accepting when it came to divorce.... they understood. This was all well and good, and I was confirmed in the presbyterian religion, but again at a very young age. As I grew older I grew away from the inconvenience of going to church, attempt to go back with persuasion from my girlfriend, and it turned out to be a battle with myself whether I decided to frequent these churches, was most of the time a flip of a coin, and I felt very good spiritually inside. You could say even later on as I grew more and more away from these standards, I found other inspirations that made me feel the way I felt when I was at church. I found that I could listen to very early classical music which consisted of gregorian chant (Claudio Monteverdi) inparticular. This is the kind of music that would not make me feel like I was in a church, dressed to kill on Sunday, but more deeper meaning of putting myself into the past, like in a forest, one with nature. As I developed my dislike for organized religion I also got enlightenment from other composers and even different forms of alternative music that would give me the spiritual fill that I had long been looking for.  This music makes me one with God in ways I never expressed until now. Of course the idea of "God" is madeup.... it explains what you cannot explain.... I cannot explain the way I feel around my environment anymore than I can explain "God".  If I cannot explain "God" then I can forget about what I don't know about it, and go on with my life, one day after another, because the music will always be there, as timely as music can be, and that does not include all of the sights, smells, and exercising alll of the senses that I still have, I am gifted. I don't feel guilty about feeling this way, and to say that "God's son" should make me feel any better, really makes me think that there is an "If" to that feeling that you do not have in music. Music can allow you to be the creator, the follower, and the performer.... the only trinity of my life. I like to keep them simple..... simply put.... music is my spirituality, take this away and I still have my other senses. my soul will live on forever as a memory that when I die, I will fall into an endless sleep, further to be forgotten by all mankind, and I would absolve everybody their pain in my dying. I will just be dead, like an ant or a fly that just got squashed. It is meaningless, it is me.

About the author

Claudius or Claudius1964 hails from Kalamazoo, Michigan and has his BS in Computer Information Systems from Western Michigan University.

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